Millions of Americans have been waiting for months for Stuttering Alcoholic Nancy Pelosi, and Cocaine Mitch McConnell to pass a COVID relief bill…and this is the flaming pile of poop the American taxpayer received?

The last time Americans received a direct payment was in April, and the check was for $1,200 per person. 

But yesterday, Congress nearly broke their old decrepit arms patting themselves on the back for sending Americans a $600 check…Oh, FFS!

Democrats Played Politics With Giving Americans Covid Relief

The Democrats have held up new COVID relief for months in what their unhinged leaders practically admitted was aimed at influencing the 2020 election.

Only in Washington, can you find a collection of mental midgets that just weeks ago dismissed President Trump’s $1.8 Trillion COVID relief bill, with had Pelosi screeching ‘it was too small.’

But just weeks later watching the very same collection of mental midgets congratulating each other on negotiating a $900 billion COVID relief bill?

Where The $900 Billion COVID Relief Package Goes To

The bill Cocaine Mitch McConnell, and Stuttering Alcoholic Nancy Pelosi negotiated allocates $166 billion for direct payments of up to $600 per individual.

Of course, Nancy and her simpleminded socialist dimwitted Democrats dismissed Trump’s proposal that would have sent every American a $1200 check?

Nevertheless, Nancy Pelosi is just giddy knowing she’ll use her $600 check to restock her liquor cabinet for a week. And maybe she’ll even have a few crumbs left over to buy a pint of Rocky Road ice cream.

But the cherry on top of their imbecilic COVID Relief sundae has to be the fact that it now allows sending $600 checks to some illegal immigrants!

Then there is the $120 billion which will be used to extend unemployment benefits. But wait for it…

Unlike when America elects our President, and/or members of Congress, this bill requires unemployed Americans to show documentation.

The $900 billion Stimulus Betrayal Includes:

  • Direct payments of $600 to most adults and $600 per child. The check amount decreases for those who earned more than $75,000 in the 2019 tax year, and will not go out at all to those who made more than 99,000
  • A $300 unemployment supplement while retaining pandemic-era programs that expanded unemployment insurance eligibility. The benefit could kick in by Dec. 27 and run through March 14
  • $284 billion for government payroll loans, including expanded eligibility for nonprofits and local newspapers and TV and radio broadcasters. This includes $15 billion for live venues, independent movie theaters, and cultural institutions and $20 billion for targeted disaster grants
  • $82 billion for colleges and schools, including support for heating-and-cooling systems upgrades to mitigate virus transmission and reopen classrooms, and $10 billion for child care assistance
  • $45 billion for transportation assistance, including $15 billion to U.S. passenger airlines for payroll assistance, $14 billion for transit systems, $10 billion for state highway funding and $1 billion for Amtrak passenger railroad
  • $25 billion for rental assistance for families struggling to stay in their homes, and an extension of the eviction moratorium.
  • $26 billion for food/farm assistance. Increases food stamp benefits by 15% and provides funding to food banks, Meals on Wheels and other food aid. Provides an equal amount ($13 billion) in aid to farmers and ranchers.
  • Expanded Pell Grants for college tuition, which would reach 500,000 new recipients and provide the maximum benefit for more than 1.5 million students
  • Provides $10 billion to the Child Care Development Block Grant to help families with child care costs and help providers cover increased operating costs.
  • $7 billion for broadband internet access, including $1.9 billion to replace telecom network equipment that poses national security risks
  • $4 billion for an international vaccine alliance
  • Forgives a $10 billion loan to the Postal Service provided in earlier relief legislation
  • Contains bipartisan legislation to protect consumers from huge surprise medical bills after receiving treatment from out-of-network providers
  • Extends a variety of expiring tax breaks, including lower excise taxes of crafter brewers and distillers. Renewable energy sources would see tax breaks extended, as would motorsport facilities, and people making charitable contributions. Business meals would be 100% deductible through 2022


Despite Screwing Americans

Congress also proposed a $1.4 trillion omnibus spending bill.

Even more reprehensible, both bills were presented together in a 5,500+ page document. 

And in a moment that proves just how much of a clown show Congress has become.

Nancy Pelosi semi re-enacted her infamous “You can read it after you vote on it’ Obamacare idiocy.

But I assume due to the tough times, Nancy Pelosi graciously offered members of the House a full 30 minutes to read their 5,500-page boondoggle.

According to our sources, Nancy Pelosi dropped her 1/2 hour deadline at 6:30 PM.

Which is a strange coincidence, being that just one block away from where the Stuttering Alcoholic Speaker of the Hose was standing.

Billy Bob’s Bar and Grill’s ‘Happy Hour’ ends precisely at 7 PM.

President Trump should VETO this load of crap. But before sending it back to Congress, he  should wipe his arse with it and attach a note saying “This is all your COVID relief bill is good for.”



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