Look, I know it’s Thursday morning. You probably didn’t expect this during your morning cup of coffee, but I think there’s a 73 percent probability that Jerry Nadler pooped his pants.

Crazy things happen when people have to go.

I know we’re in the final stages of a presidential election. I know we have a SCOTUS fight ahead of us. But we have to settle this right now. Seriously, have you seen the clip? The man looks like he straight-up ‘sharted’ and tried to get away as quickly as possible without evidence of his accident.

Is this Swalwall 2.0?

We have a new ‘poopgate.’ Is this worth a special counsel? Do we need to investigate whether or not Nadler a) had an accident on live TV, and b) tossed those pants into the furnace? Well, given how absurd the Trump-Russia collusion myth was—maybe.

I’m not kidding. I mean, look at the footage (you might want to put your coffee down first). It sure looks like something bad happened and he tried to scurry off as quickly as possible. There’s no way no one noticed. First, he’s right there next to Nancy Pelosi. Second, he’s a top Democrat, chair of the House Judiciary Committee. And third, he’s front and center at the speaker’s presser. That shuffle is not going to fool anyone. There’s no covert slide away from the Speaker of the House in any situation. Also, we all know that’s not how you walk, sir.